Doesn't "No Bake" mean "Easy" ??!?

I've operated most of my adult life under the mistaken assumption that because they're "no bake", No-Bake Cookies must be easy.

Why else would someone invent cookies that you didn't need to bake, if not to make life easier on the cook?

I held that believe until I tried to make them.

Because, like brownies from a box, it turns out no-bakes are one of The Grand Lunar's favorite treats. And I figure a good wife ought to, at least occasionally, make her husband's favorite treats. Right? And what could be easier than no-bakes?

Turns out they're not called "Easier Than Cookies Because You Don't Bake Them" for a reason. They're not baked, but they are cooked, on the stove. And they're actually trickier than cookies. At least for me they are. Maybe I'm a mutant.

The first time I tried to make them, they didn't set up. They ended up floppy, gooey, barely-holding-together blobs of chocolate syrup and oatmeal. Some friends sent me recipes and suggested it's all in the timing of the boiling. So I've been very careful ever since. And, usually, they turn out okay, but they always make me nervous. Like I'm making some tricky fancy gourmet thing that only accomplished chefs can handle. I'm always relieved and immensely pleased when they turn out.

So last night I decided to make some more. They might not be easy, but I had shown myself to be an accomplished chef who could handle them. Or so I thought.

It was looking fine right up to the very end. When I dumped in the oatmeal. And then - SHAZAM! - for some unknown reason the chocolatey syrupy part seized up and crystallized into a crumbly lump. Almost like dryish chocolate granola. Which isn't a bad idea, but wasn't the plan. In desperation, I tried to press it into a 9x13 pan, hoping it would hold together better if pressed down, since dropping into cookies was clearly out of the question.

The result was ... crumbly chocolately granola like stuff squashed in a pan.

What EVAH.

Apparently I am not the accomplished no-bake chef I fancied myself.

But, being the crazed mad-scientist chef that I fancy myself, I do have crazy half-thought-out plans to rescue them. We'll see if I can do it. I'll let you know. And, for the record, they do taste just fine. Which is, really, more important in the long run, isn't it?

In my defense, also, the low fat, whole grain banana bread I made this morning turned out quite well.

phew!